My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize