Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
