Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We left the knife in your bed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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