I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
