next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
