the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
