I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
