I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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