In the future we'll all be gay
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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