And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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