I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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