Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
