Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
