i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
