we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
