Small penises have feelings too.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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