Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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