Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
