I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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