spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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