It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
