i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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