i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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