Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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