I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
time to smoke my breakfast
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
