so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
