k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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