I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
