Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
