and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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