are you still at the devil's house?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
im holly from the hills drunk
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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