That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
