no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
