Her vagina should come with caution tape.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Are we still banned from the library?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
