she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
