Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize