i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
