there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
