I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
