I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize