fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
