I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
