he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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