Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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