Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
