Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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