Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
