Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
