I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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