And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
