Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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