Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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