After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
