Your dad touched me again.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Randomize
