Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
