yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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