I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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