9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
