You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
