So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I forget how to act sober
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
