When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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