i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
