is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
